


For Sentimental Reasons

by mywildestdreamings



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Slight references to PTSD, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 03:49:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12050679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywildestdreamings/pseuds/mywildestdreamings
Summary: Alternatively titled "Four Times Steve Rogers Asked You to Dance and the One Time You Asked Him"





	1. Chapter 1

You should have never met Steve Rogers. Your old college roommate works for Stark Industries and invited you to a come with her to a party. She loves her job and quickly gets lost talking to coworkers and mingling. It didn’t bother you much. You had an excuse to where this beautiful blue dress, one that fit your top but flowed down to your knees. It felt like something vintage and that made you splurge a little to buy it. So you were standing on the balcony, with a glass of wine in your hand, watching the lights of New York City around you.

“It may have changed in the last seventy years, but she’s still beautiful.”

Glancing to the side, you see Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, has joined you. It makes you a little nervous but he looks relaxed as he leans against the railing. So you tell yourself what the hell. You could talk to him. “Yeah. I love all the lights, the bustle of the cars and the cabs. Some people don’t get it, think it’s too busy. But for me, it’s home. Can’t imagine myself somewhere else.”

He laughs then and it makes you smile. “Exactly. Had to live in D.C. for a while, but it’s not the same.”

“I’ve only been to D.C. once, for a school trip. But I have lived a couple of places. I went to school in Portland, which was nice. Great city. Beautiful, but in a different way. Spent six months in L.A. because my friend wanted to act and I didn’t want her alone in the city. That sucked, so I moved back.”

“What do you do?”

You smile, a little shy in that moment. “I teach high school English.”

“A teacher? Wow.”

Your body turns to face him instead of the city around you. “Wow? You’re Captain America. You literally save people as your job and you’re saying wow to mine?” 

Steve laughs again. You find you like that sound. “I guess, if you put it that way… But no, what you do is amazing. I still remember some of my teachers from school, the impact they had on me. And I’ve met teenagers from today. They’re a handful.”

“I’d imagine they’re a handful in any decade, Captain.”

“Steve, please.”

“Steve then.” You sip your wine, smiling at him over the glass. Those nerves you had earlier were gone completely. 

“What’s your name?”

“Oh, gosh, sorry. I’m Y/N,” you say, sticking out your hand. It makes you really happy to feel him give you a good handshake. Not to hard to intimidate you but also not a limp fish, which is your biggest pet peeve. 

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” He’s sweet. Then again, he was last dating in the 1940s. Most guys were sweet then. Weren’t they? Your dating history wasn’t fantastic, but you try hard not to think about that. You’re just talking to him. Nothing more needs to happen.

“What are your kids studying now?”

“Shakespeare. Much Ado About Nothing to be exact.”

“Never read much of him.”

That makes you laugh as you glance out to the city around you. “Shame, though he’s better performed. I have the kids read it aloud, trying to act it out. I switch it up because we have this whole section of plays, so everyone gets a turn. It’s nice. Gets some of the shy kids actually participating, which is huge. Of course, no one wants to act out the kisses in class, because it makes people laugh.”

He’s watching you and you feel his gaze on your bare shoulders. “Maybe I should come by, watch them.” You wonder if he means watch you but you don’t voice this. Is he flirting with you? 

“I think that would be more distracting than the kissing scenes,” you admit aloud, not telling him that it would be you distracted most of all. 

Steve ducks his head and you smile, wondering if your cheeks will hurt later. “Well, then maybe you could read me some sometime. Or, is he still performed? We could catch a play.”

“Yeah, I would say Shakespeare is still performed here and there,” you tease with a laugh. “But I have a bunch of movies too, so I could loan you some if you’d like.” 

“I’d rather watch it with you, Y/N. Never know when I’d have a question.”

He was definitely closer to you now and your nerves were back in full force. How had you missed that? “I guess we could do that.” Taking a sip of your wine, you realize your glass is almost empty. You set it down and try not to wrap your arms around yourself. Flirting isn’t really your strong suit.

The music seems louder than it had before. You glance inside and see people are dancing. Steve follows your gaze and looks sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck. “I would ask you to dance but I don’t really know how to dance like that.”

“It’s not hard but it’s also not really my scene,” you admit. He seems relieved. “I actually don’t dance much.”

“I’ve found it is all about having the right partner.”

You nod, tucking your hair back. “I suppose that’s true.”

He grinned. “Might have a little to do with the right music too.”

It made you laugh. “Yeah, I know that’s true.” 

You look back out over the city and miss Steve fiddling with his phone. It isn’t until “Isn’t She Lovely” starts playing from the tiny speakers that you look back to see him holding out his hand to you. “Do you want to dance?” You slip your hand into his with a shy smile.

He pulls you to him, one hand on your waist, the other holding yours as he twirls you around the balcony. Dancing like this wasn’t something you did often, or ever really, and he’s really good. For all his muscles, he’s pretty graceful. You like that he’s tall, that it feels good being this close to him. It is the sweetest thing you can imagine and he did it for you. That makes you blush as he leads you through the steps. You don’t feel the urge to look at your feet so you find yourself getting lost in his blue eyes and it’s the best night you can possibly remember ever having.


	2. Chapter 2

You are dating Steve Rogers. It has only been a few weeks and more than a few of your dates have been interrupted by his job, but you’re enjoying yourself. He’s sweet and funny and you find yourself looking forward to getting to see him more and more. That is still a strange part of your life. So many people around you are huge fans or had have strong opinions. Sometimes it was fun to smile to yourself when you heard your students talk about them, about how hot Steve or Thor was, or marvel at how they were able to do so much. Today, however, was not one of those days. 

It’s finally time for lunch and after a grueling hour where your class did not want to take their reading seriously, you’re ready for a break. So you head to the teachers lounge and your list. Since you and Steve started dating, he showed you the list of things of what he was trying to catch up on. You had more than a few suggestions. Currently, you are trying to find a good teen movie for tonight. It was between The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles, and you know you’ll have to explain why the 80s had the best movies for this genre.

“I just think they’re all dangerous. Look what happened the last time they were in the city. Damn near tore the place apart.”

“But you don’t think the Avengers did that on purpose! They were trying to protect us from an alien invasion! Do you think you could do that and not break a few buildings, Mike?”

The conversation was capturing your attention. Mike is your principal and you had no idea he had strong opinions about the Avengers. He is currently debating their merits with the head of the history department. Your feel your fingers curl into a fist and you slide your hand under the table. Arguing passionately with your principal is a good way to get fired and you love your job. And your students.

“It isn’t the first time they create havoc in a city! Look at D.C.! Look at Sokovia! Why do they get to destroy a place to save it?”

“They aren’t just saving one place. They’re saving the whole world. Look at all the wars we have fought over the years. London in World War II for example. Much of it needed to be rebuilt but there was peace!”

“But they are the ones who are inciting all these other stronger enemies. Do you think we’d have an alien invasion or an all powerful robot trying to take over the world if this wasn’t the world the Avengers called home?”

All you want to do is scream at him, tell him how guilty they all feel for the destruction that comes with trying to keep this planet safe. These people are your friends. They never asked for this responsibility and they try to do their best, but, for the most part, they’re still human. Human! Like him! You push your chair back and throw the rest of your lunch in your bag and shove it back in the fridge, suddenly not hungry. The rest of your break is spent wandering the halls. 

The heels of your boots echo on the silent walls around you. Students are learning and laughing and debating around you and you cannot think about that. Your mind is stuck on the words of Mike and how he couldn’t stand the Avengers. How could people not see the Steve and the other Avengers were just trying to help people? To save them? It broke your heart that people were so ignorant but if you looked at history, it wouldn’t be the first time. Maybe there wasn’t anything you could do to change their minds. 

Your day is tainted by the fact that people don’t understand the Avengers. They see them as celebrities, public figures they can judge. You know them as Tony and Nat and Bucky and Clint and Wanda… They’re friends, family. By the time you get home and change from your work clothes into something more comfortable, but still nice enough for a date night in. Pizza is ordered and you wait for it and your boyfriend.

Steve knows something is wrong the moment you open your door. His arms wrap around you and hold you close. It’s soothing and you let out a sigh, snuggling in closer. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to say anything. You stand just inside your door, letting the warm and strength of him wash away the crappy day. By the time the pizza gets there, you’re snuggled into his chest and he’s rubbing your back in soothing circles. It is a good feeling.

You end up on the couch, watching The Breakfast Club. The pizza box is on the table next to some half empty beer bottles. Steve has pulled you close so you’re snuggled into his side. Not that you’re complaining. He laughs and you smile as you listen to him enjoy one of your favorite movies. It’s such a simple thing, but you have enjoyed all the times you get to show Steve something first. The more time you spend with him, the more of a challenge it becomes, but you love it. 

When it gets to the end, you can’t help but say the words to the letter they left for Mr. Vernon, even throwing your fist up in the air like Judd Nelson in the last shot of the movie. It makes Steve laugh. “How many times have you seen this movie?”

“I have no idea,” you say with a shrug as you sit up to look at him. “I’ve loved this movie forever.”

He cups your cheek. “I can tell,” he teases as he leans in. Before he could kiss you, he seemed to get an idea and he stood, holding out his hand to you. “Dance with me?”

“Always, Steve.”

Pulling you close, he maneuvers you around the coffee table to the more open space in front of your tv. He is grinning as he twirls you around and spins you back into him until your laughing, breathless in his arms as you dance to “Don’t You Forget About Me”. It’s fun and loose, different from the slow dance you shared at Tony’s party a few months ago.

“This is fun,” you say, face warm from the moves. 

“I always have fun with you, Y/N.” Without the music, he is just holding you close, swaying gently. You are silent, just enjoying the moment with him. It’s quiet and simple and you love it. “Do you want to tell me what was bothering you?”

Shaking your head, you hold him tighter. He continues to sway with you and presses a kiss to your temple. “It might make you feel better to talk about it.” Still, you refuse. You hate that someone you work with has such a narrow-minded view of what the Avengers go through. You know better and you want to protect Steve so he doesn’t find out that people think that.

He slows down the swaying so he’s just standing in the middle of your living room, holding you close. His hands trail up and down your back and you sigh. “Just something someone at work said. It was stupid.”

“If it’s bothering you, Y/N then it’s not stupid.” He tilts your chin up to look into your eyes. 

You bit the inside of your lip. “Just ignorant thoughts on the Avengers, how they should be kept in check. They just don’t realize how hard you guys work to try to keep everyone safe. It’s hard when these things are coming at you and you have to make sure to take them out. They don’t know how hard it is! I really wish they did. You guys sacrifice so mu—“

He silences you with a kiss, cupping your face with his hands. It’s effective and you clutch his shirt as his mouth slants over yours, deepening the kiss. It’s the first time he has kissed you, really kissed you beyond a peck on the cheek or lips. You tease your tongue against his bottom lip, earning yourself a moan from his lips. 

You both feel the vibrations in this pocket before the ringtone started. Steve groaned against your mouth, this time the sound very different. For a moment, you both stand there, breathing a little faster than you had before. Then he slips his phone from his pocket and you know he’s going to have to go to work. With a sigh, you wrap your arms around yourself as you watch him become Captain America. You know he has to do this. It was, after all, why you were so bothered by what was said earlier in the day. 

He ends the call and turns back to you. “Sorry, doll. Gotta go to work.”

“I know,” you said with a nod. “Be safe?”

“Always.” He pulls you close and leaves you with one more lingering kiss before pressing his lips to your forehead. “I’ll call when we’re done.”

“Good. I’ll see you soon.”

Steve grins as he grabs his jacket and looks over his shoulder at you. “Count on it.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut. If you're not 18, please continue to the next chapter.

The air turned colder as the days went on. You could smell the hint of snow on the air as you walk towards Steve’s apartment. Christmas is coming up and you know that you’re looking forward to going to visit family. It is one of your favorite times of the year. Though you haven’t talked about it yet, you’re planning on asking Steve if he wants to spend Christmas Day with you and your family. Maybe he will have plans, but you’re his girlfriend. You should figure out a plan, right?

You step off the subway in Brooklyn and pull your coat tighter around you. They had mentioned something about snow on the weather that morning but you didn’t pay it much attention. Steve’s apartment was just a few blocks away. He’d been so happy to get a place near where he lived before. The neighborhood had changed, but it was still home to him. You had been happy for him too, because it meant he had a place of his own, a place where he could be Steve instead of Captain America.

His neighbor gives you a bright smile as she holds the door open for you. The pair of you stand in the foyer of the building. The older woman lived next door to Steve and she looked in on him like a grandmother would. Her own grandchildren lived all over and she likes having someone to take care of. “Oh, Y/N, can you thank Steve for me? I know he was the one who got the super to fix my heat. He’s such a good man. You hold on to him, you here me?”

Laughing, you smile at her. “Of course, Mrs. Jones. I have no intention of letting him go.”

“Oh really?” 

You look up and see Steve leaning against the railing on the stairs. His smile makes you blush. “Yes, really.” Might as well admit it. 

Mrs. Jones laughs. “You two are so cute.” That makes you blush even harder. “Stevie, you need anything from the store? I feel a storm coming.”

“No, ma’am. But if you think it’s going to snow, let me go out for you.”

She waves him off. “Tush. I’m just going to the bodega on the corner. I’ll be back in a few.” With a smile and another wave, she’s out in to the cold, leaving you with your boyfriend.

“So what’s this about not letting me go?” he asks as he comes down the last few steps to wrap his arms around you.

“Simple as that, Cap,” you tease. “Not planning on letting you go. Ever.” It makes you nervous to admit that to him but it’s true. You’ve fallen for him and there really isn’t much you can do about that. 

He grins and leans in to give you a chaste kiss. “Wouldn’t let you even if you tried,” he murmured. “Can’t let my best girl go.”

“Good.” You kiss his nose and shiver, a bit over exaggerated. “Let’s go upstairs. It’s freezing outside.” 

Steve chuckles. “This is nothing.” But he wraps his arm around your shoulders and escorts you upstairs, keeping you close to him. “I was thinking we could stay in tonight. Keep us warm. They’ve been talking about snow but I don’t know. Mrs. Jones thinks her hip is more accurate than the weather guy on the news. She says it’ll snow for sure and more than just a little dusting.”

He opens his door and helps you take your coat off as he keeps rambling about the weather and that he found this recipe for crockpot curry. That it would be a warm meal and he got a few more movies from his list. You’re listening but at the same time, you barely hear him at all. You watch him as he moves into the kitchen and checks on the dinner he set up earlier. The smell is incredible and he knows your weakness for Indian food. 

This man is incredible and you know it has nothing to do with the muscles or his handsome face. He has a good heart. The way he keeps glancing out the window to make sure Mrs. Jones makes it back okay. The sigh of relief when you can hear her in the hall less than half an hour later. The way he keeps smiling at you as if you’re the only woman in the world. How is it possible that this man is yours?

“I love you.”

The words are blurted out and you cross the room to stand in front of him. His face shows how shocked he is by your statement. You resist the urge to bite the inside of your lip like you do when you’re nervous. This wasn’t how you had planned on telling Steve how you felt. Not that you really had a plan. But just springing it on him wouldn’t have been it. Taking his hands in your own, you take a deep breath and look into those blue eyes of his. “I love you, Steve.” It’s the second time you’ve said it and you hope he isn’t completely terrified right now.

“Y/N…” 

Crap. It’s too soon. Well, that was horrible. You have no idea what to do now, so you look down at your hands. At least he hadn’t pulled away from you. That was a good thing, right? Why does this feel so crappy? So what if you just spilled your emotions to your boyfriend of three and a half months. 

One hand lets go of yours and you find yourself looking back up at him, his index finger curled under your chin. You don’t notice that you’re holding your breath until he smiles. “I love you too. Just didn’t expect you to say it first.” Oh, thank god. His mouth covers yours and you slide your arms around his neck. His smooth down your back and you smile against his lips. 

“You love me?”

He chuckles. “Yes, Y/N. I love you.” Steve likes seeing you smile. Picking you up, he spins you around before putting you back down on your feet. With another kiss, he pulls you into the kitchen and dishes out what he made for dinner. Apparently, in your daydreaming moment, you completely missed when he asked you if you were hungry. You end up eating on the couch, watching one of the new Star Trek movies. 

Steve pulls you into his lap when the movie is over and you nuzzle his neck. You feel him chuckling beneath you. “What is it?” you ask as you lift your head. “What’s so funny?”

He points to the window behind you. “It’s snowing.”

Turning, you see that the snow is coming down pretty hard. “Huh.” You get up and look down at the ground. There were more than a few inches of snow on the ground. “Well, that’s going to make getting home fun.”

“You could just stay here.” Steve has come up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. His chin is resting on your shoulder and you lean back against him. “Tomorrow is Saturday, so you don’t have to work.”

Shifting enough to look back at him, you smile. “Sure, Steve. I’d love to.”

He grins and kisses your nose. “Good. Let me clean up and you can put something else on.”

“Oh, no, Steve. You made dinner. Let me clean up.” He looks like he’s about to protest and you shake your head. “You always clean up when I make dinner.”

“Yeah, but you have one of those dish washers. It’s easy.”

Laughing, you pull back and go to the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves. “I really don’t care. Let me clean up.”

For once, you win the clean up argument. Steve packs up some of the food and brings it next door to Mrs. Jones. So you put your phone on the speaker that he has and turn it on shuffle. Your music taste is eclectic and you find yourself dancing to the music as you clean up. It doesn’t take long, thankfully and you hear Steve come back when you’re putting the last dish on the rack next to the sink. You’re still bopping around as you wipe down the counters, making sure to hang the towel on the oven door.

Steve turns off your music and you see him putting a record on. He’s acquired quite a few records. As much as he likes having access to any piece of music on his phone, he still loves the way a record sounds. You don’t mind. It’s cute, and you will never tease him about being a hipster about it again, not after the first time. Nat King Cole plays through the speaker and he holds out his hand. “May I have this dance?”

Looking down, you’re wearing jeans with fuzzy socks, your hands are pruned, and there is a bit water splotch on your sweater. But he is looking at you like you’re so glamorous and you can’t help but smile. Sliding your hand into his, you let him pull you into him, swaying for a moment to the song. Then you’re spun out again and he leads you around the living room, some quick steps and some slow swaying. 

You love when he dances with you in the living room. “L-O-V-E” comes on and you grin, wondering if he picked this album because of what you had declared before dinner. It’s one of those almost cheesy moments that you want to tell your friends about but you don’t because you want it to keep it all to yourself. No one else gets to see this side of Steve. It’s kind of perfect. When you look up at him, he’s staring at you, watching your face and that makes you blush even more.

He stops his moves to pull you against him and kiss you. It leaves you more breathless than the dancing. You slide your hands up his chest to link them around his neck. It isn’t your first kiss, but it is currently your favorite. His hands slide around you more, one making its way up your back, the other staying on the small of your back. You’re not sure who deepens the kiss first, but you are the one who slides your fingers into his hair. He picks you up and holds you against him as you wrap her legs around his waist. 

Somehow he manages to get you to his bedroom, your mouth moving over his neck. He definitely had to stop and lean you against the wall for all you were doing to distract him. You weren’t sure you would ever get to this part of the relationship. The two of you hadn’t discussed behind intimate but you had made him aware you were interested. Now seems like the time. You are not about to question that.

Your back hits the bed slowly, and you pull your lips from his skin. Looking up at him, you can see how much he desires you and it makes you smile. “You sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Y/N,” he murmurs, leaning in to press hot kisses to your neck. Oh, that’s good. You arch your neck, baring more of it to him. You don’t want him to stop. His hands slide beneath the fabric of your shirt, skimming over your sides. It elicited a soft moan from you as you arch into his touch. 

He presses his hips into yours and you’re a goner. “Steve,” you breathe, fingers curling in his shirt. Slowly, you draw the fabric up his back. You've been waiting for this for far too long. Fingers slide over skin as you pull his shirt off and toss it aside. Hot damn. He is incredibly sexy. Biting your lip, you trace your fingers down his muscled chest. He’s pulled back enough to watch you. 

Your eyes follow the tips of your fingers as they make their slow descent. When you look back up into his eyes all you can see is desire. He wants you. You. God, this man…. Leaning up, you cover his mouth with your own as you nudge him onto his back. His hands are strong against your waist as he rolls, pulling you with him. You straddle him and moan into the kiss. 

Steve moves his hands up your sides, pushing your shirt up. You have to break away from his lips to let him pull the shirt off your body but it’s worth to see how he reacts to you. His gaze is intense as his hands skim over you. It makes you shiver and you arch into his touch. “You’re gorgeous,” he says, leaning in to kiss along the edge of your bra. When he touches you like this, when he says things like that, you feel it. Curling your fingers in his hair, you tug on the strands when you can’t stand his teasing anymore. You crush your mouth to his as his nimble fingers rid you of the lace confining your breasts.

He has to pull back to look at you now, seeing you bare to him. In the blink of an eye, your positioned are reversed and your back is now against his soft comforter. Steve stares down at you and you bit the corner of your lip. Leaning in, his mouth worships at your neck, moving slowly down to your breasts. He takes his time, making sure to give each one equal attention until you’re squirming beneath him. You need friction. You’re also pretty sure he knows that and is trying to drive you insane.

“Steve,” you whimper as his mouth hovers over the edge of your jeans. “Please.”

“No need to beg, doll. I’m getting there.” He chuckles against your skin as he shifts enough to peel the fabric off you. Your panties follow very quickly after and you’re completely bare before him. He looks like Christmas came early. Leaning in, he presses soft kisses to the inside of your thighs, making his way towards your heated center. He is achingly slow. He knows what you need and before you can murmur another please, he’s trailing his tongue over you. Your hips buck up and you arch. All this teasing as made you very needy. 

He knows this. His hands hold you down on the bed as his mouth fucks you, teases you, brings you close to the edge and then begs off. Steve Rogers knows what the hell he’s doing. You hold on to the fabric beneath you, the pillow below your head, his hair, anything that gives you some tiny semblance of control over the situation. You are his mercy.

The sounds you’re making, the whimpers, the moans, the gasps, the groans, the almost sobs when he pulls away are fueling his desire to make you completely shatter. And when he slides two fingers inside you, his mouth firming around your clit, that is what you do with a loud cry of his name. Steve doesn’t stop until you come down and you are shaking from the force of your orgasm.

He’s straining against his jeans as he shifts to lay beside you, grinning. You can see the evidence of how hard you came all over his face and you pull him to you, needing to kiss him. The taste of you from his lips is enough to make you groan against his mouth. Rolling on your side, you press your body against his. His arms go around you and you grin into the kiss. You slip a hand between you and work on getting his fly undone. 

Eventually, he helps you and you push him onto his back as you pull his clothing from his body as he did yours before. When you see Steve Rogers spread out on his bed, you grin down at him. He points to the drawer in his bedside table and you find a box of condoms. “I like that you’re prepared, Cap.” His eyes darken at the nickname but he is still as you roll a condom onto his length. 

As soon as the protection is in place, he has his hands on you, as if it took all his self control not to buck into your fingers. His mouth is hard against your own and you know you have both teased enough tonight. He pulls you with him as he rests his back against his pillows. You rise up on your knees, positioning him at your entrance. With one smooth stroke, he’s buried inside you and you drop your forehead to his shoulder as you adjust. It feels so good.

Peppering kisses against his neck is his signal to move his hips. The pace is slow and steady and you match it. When you pull back from his neck, you looks up at you. His gaze is a very different kind of intense. It reminds you that he loves you, that you love him. You still your hands on his shoulders and lean your forehead to his. All the frantic movements from before are forgotten as you move in tandem. 

His hands slide down your back and you feel the sweat on your skin. As soon as you realize that, though, his mouth is on yours, making you forget everything but him. Neither of you are sure how much time has passed when you find yourselves close to the edge. It doesn’t really matter. Nothing exists beyond the edge of the bed. 

“Y/N,” Steve breathes. You cup his cheek as you kiss him again. His hand slides between you, fingers finding your clit again. You begin to tremble and you come with a cry of his name. Steve follows a few moments after and when you’re both spent, he lays back against the pillows for a moment. Neither of you want to move but you know he has to, so you try not to pout when you find yourself laying on the bed by himself while he disposes of the condom. But he’s back in your arms a moment later, cuddling you close in the afterglow. 

“I love you, Y/N.” His words are whispered against your hair and it makes you smile.

“I love you too, Steve.” And as the world storms outside, you fall asleep snuggled against his warmth. You’ll ask him about Christmas in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some references to PTSD

Another party at the Avengers Tower. This time, you are on Steve’s arm. It’s New Years Eve and Tony insisted that you all come and celebrate. It was fun to find a dress that fit the occasion and even more fun when Steve had to drag you back to his room to show you just how much you loved the dress. So you were a little late to the party.

“Y/N! Steve!” Tony comes over and kisses your cheek. “Y/N, you look fantastic.”

“Aww, thanks, Tony,” you reply, giving him a friendly hug. 

He shakes Steve’s hand and you smile up him. “Good to see you, Cap.” You bite the inside of your cheek. Steve had mentioned things between him and Tony were a little tense since Bucky had come back. It had been revealed that the Winter Soldier was the one who killed his parents. That was not an easy time in the tower. There were far too many night Steve came home angry or hurt. Things were on the mend though.

“Grab a drink and enjoy the night,” Tony said, breaking you from your thoughts. “See you at midnight.” With a tip of his champagne glass, he was off mingling and greeting more guests. 

You turn to Steve and slip your arm around his waist. “Do you want a drink or…?”

“How about a dance?”

He makes you grin as he pulls you towards the dance floor. It’s not your kind of music, not for dancing with Steve, but you make the most of it. It’s fun to dance with him like this and then with Bucky. You like Bucky a lot. As a teacher, you had helped your students deal with loss, with depression, with anxiety, and with PTSD. Being with Steve, you knew there were things that still plagued him. So it was no wonder that Bucky was comfortable about you. You know that he has been through more nightmares than anyone ever should in their lifetime. Some days were harder for him than others, but he had Steve, and he had you.

“You make him happy, you know,” he said as he spun you around. He was trying to have a good time and you were happy to be there for him, to be someone who could anchor him in the moment. 

“I know, Buck. Because he makes me happy too.”

With a charming smile, dips you. The movement makes you laugh as you come up. Bucky glances over your shoulder. “He hasn’t taken his eyes off you once since he left your side.”

“Oh, stop it,” you say with a swat of his arm. “You’re acting like I don’t know he’s in love with me.”

“I’ve seen Steve in love before, Y/N. This is different.” 

For a moment, you see a shadow pass over Bucky’s face and you stop dancing. You place both your hands on his face and turn him to look at you. “James, look at me. You are here with me. We are in New York. It’s New Years Eve.” Steve is at your side before you finish speaking. He ushers you both from the dance floor out to the balcony, the very same one that you met him on all those months ago. 

The cold air seems to help Bucky and he shakes his head. “Sorry,” he mumbles. You step in and give him a tight hug. Having him back hadn’t been easy but you know it helps Steve to have someone he knew from before the serum around. You rub Bucky’s back for a second before letting go. 

“You never have to apologize to me,” you offer with a half smile. “We’re friend, Buck. I’ve got your back.” Glancing over at Steve, you see he has this funny look on his face. You lean up to kiss his cheek before heading back inside to leave the boys alone for a while. A drink in hand, you mingle and try to enjoy yourself. Your eyes are always going back to the windows and the balcony. Bucky and Steve are still talking, but you know that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes, Bucky doesn’t like to tell you exactly what’s bothering him because he thinks it’s too horrible. You never push him because you know that doesn’t help.

Seeing Steve with Bucky, knowing how hard it can be for both of them, you can’t help but love him more. He is loving and loyal and stands up for what he believes in. That passion is something you admire. Sometimes, it gets him into trouble, but he doesn’t waver. That’s his real strength, more so than the muscles. When you look over again, Bucky is standing there, alone. Where did Steve go?

The music changes and it’s softer. It takes you a minute to recognize the song. Steve had recently discovered John Legend and “All of Me” is one of his favorites. The DJ says something about a special request before they ramp up to the countdown to midnight. Some couples stay on the dance floor but others take the opportunity to get something to eat or drink. With fewer people, you can see Steve walking towards you. He pulls you closer and you naturally fall into the dance. “Thank you,” he whispers in your ear.

“You don’t have to thank me for that anymore than Bucky has to apologize for it.”

He presses a soft kiss right below your ear and your breath catches in your throat. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to, because I want you to know how much it means to me.”

Pulling back, you look up at him. “I know, Steve. But that isn’t why I do it.”

Steve smiles and leans in to capture your lips with his own. “And that’s why I love you, Y/N.”


	5. Chapter 5

There are a lot of things you love about Steve Rogers. You love the way his eyes crinkle when you get him to laugh. You love that you tease him about being old enough to retire to Florida. You love how hard he tries to remind Bucky of who he was. You love when he lets you hold him when it doesn’t go well or takes longer than he’d like. You love when he comes up behind you while you’re at the mirror getting ready and slides his arms around your waist.

You end up spending more time at his place than your own. Taking the subway into work isn’t always awesome but it’s worth waking up in his arms. There are times when he has to leave in the middle of a date or even the middle of the night. It’s not perfect but it’s his job. You understand that. There are nights when you can’t see each other because of your students or helping out with the current theatrical production at school. You’re both busy but every moment you get to spend together is more and more precious.

Steve had gone out of town for work, something you didn’t press him further on, and had been gone a few days. He couldn’t communicate much but you got a good morning and good night text every day. He always tried to send you that much, so you would know he was okay. Sometimes the good morning text came in the middle of the night, but it wasn’t so bad. Time zones were a bitch, but you managed. 

Tonight was a cold night and you bundled up in your apartment, missing Steve. He’d left a few shirts at your place and you took the opportunity to wear it to bed. You never told him but it was like having his arms around you when he was gone. Might have been a little silly, but you love it. Your boyfriend was a natural space heater and it was perfect for the icy New York winter. You have to make do with a few extra fleece blankets. 

Tucked in with a copy of your favorite book, a go to when you don’t have anything else to read, you try to relax. It was late and you should be asleep but you haven’t gotten a text from Steve yet. Eventually, your body wins out and you drift off, your book falling closed from your hands to your lap. It was not an incredibly restful sleep, but it was sleep. Some noises rouse you enough to make you shift in your bed. 

It is the sound of a key in the lock of your door that makes your eyes open again. Two people have a key: your best friend and Steve. Your best friend would have called first. Heavy footsteps make their way to your bedroom and you hold your breath, worried that it is somehow an intruder. When your bedroom door opens, you turn, ready for anything. 

Steve’s eyes meet yours in the dim light. “Didn’t mean to wake you, doll.”

“It’s fine.” You switch on the light and you see how tired he looks. “What happened?” He shakes his head and you know he can’t tell you. So you slip from bed and wrap your arms around him. He holds you tight and you know it was bad. There is only one thing you can think of to make it better and that’s holding him like you are now. You don’t know how long you hold him but eventually he buried his face against your neck.

“I’m here, Steve. I’m always here for you.”

You can feel him smile against your skin and he pulls back to look down at you. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I know,” you say with a teasing grin. He chuckles. You had been marathoning Star Wars before this most recent mission. He laughs and you relax. If you can make him laugh, you know you can make him feel better. It is something you’ve figured out in the time you have been together. Taking his hands in yours, you lead him back towards the living room. 

“Is that my shirt?”

“Maybe.” You let him go to go over to the record player. He got you it for Christmas with some of his favorite records. You pick one with a smile on your face and turn to him as Nat King Cole plays out through the speaker. Holding out your hand for his, he smiles, knowing you want to dance. He drops his jacket on your sofa and joins you.

His hand is holding yours, but he has you tucked against him, your arms close to your bodies. You let him lead, as usual, but he is moving so slowly that you know being close to you is what’s helping the most. Resting your head on his chest, you softly sing the words to him. He presses a kiss to your forehead and you don’t stop. 

Steve likes these moments, when he comes home from a mission. He likes having you to come home to instead of his empty apartment. It hasn’t been very long, but he knows that this is special. “Never imagined love would feel like this.”

You look up at him, surprise on your face. “What do you mean?”

“I was in love before.”

“Peggy,” you say with a nod. You already had the exs conversation. 

“Yes, Peggy. And it was special, but it didn’t feel like this. Nothing has felt like this for me.” He tucks your hair behind your ear and you realize that you probably look like a hot mess. Steve doesn’t seem to care. “I can’t wait to come home to you and hold you like this. I love seeing you in my shirts, or curled up in my bed. I love how you love me with your whole heart and don’t ask for anything in return. But I love you most because when I hurt, when the nightmares come or the memories of those I lost, of the time I lost, cause this ache in my chest, you’re here. Dancing with me. Singing to me. Holding me close.”

“Oh, Steve.” Rising on your toes, you press your mouth to his. The kiss is sweet and full of the love you share. Maybe it’s fast. You couldn’t care less. Soft jazz fills your apartment as you pull back and he starts to sway with you again. “I love you,” you murmur as you lay your head back on his chest. He’s got your heart and you know he’ll protect it with the same passion and determination that he protects the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope. you all enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on my Tumblr as well, so it is complete.


End file.
